14 June 2024 - the masculine and feminine polarity
To truly express what it means to be a man or a woman, in any context or any relationship
There is this idea of two opposing energies that we, all people, regardless of race, age or gender have within us.
Some theorists, like Deida refer to them as polarities.
Each polarity has certain qualities or ways of expressing itself.
These polarities are sometimes labelled the masculine and feminine within.
Both polarities are within each of us and we would not be able to exist without both of them. They are like the dark and the light, the inner and the outer, both sides of the same coin. In other words, one could not exist without the existence of the other.
While they do not refer to the gender male or masculine or the gender female or feminine they do become terms that are both loaded and confused.
So for the purpose of this conversation, I am going to refer to them as the straight line and the circle.
If you imagine the qualities of a straight line (the masculine energy, not the energy of a male) we would say things like intentional, powerful, purposeful, pointed, and hard.
If you imagine the qualities of the circle (the feminine energy, not the energy of a female) we would say things like soft, opening, expansive, and embracing.
And then assume that every context requires each of those polarities to be expressed as is appropriate in that circumstance.
A fully integrated human, with access to each of these polarities would then be able to choose which one is required and then express that.
However, if a single one dominates then there is no choice.
If someone is governed by the masculine polarity then that person will conduct themselves in all situations in that way and will not have the tools or ability to choose an appropriate response or way of being / behaving.
My experience in mens work, especially with men new to mens work or with men who are confused in their masculine expression are often governed by this feminine polarity and then their behaviour is much more flowing, unaccountable and easeful when really what is required is a much more deliberate, intentional, pointed and powerful way of being.
Even statements like “that does not work for me” is said more in a context of a failure to be in action when its required and this confused notion becomes prevalent.
In any practise there is a simultaneous expression of both of these polarities. In meditation for example, the masculine polarity is expressed in strong posture, consistency, accountability to the practise, being with distraction and so forth. And the feminine polarity is the ability to simply observe, expand, forgive and let go.
And the same, in the experience of a Manshine community. The masculine piece is in the putting it together, the being intentional, being on time, being in action, defining roles and responsibilities, carrying out tasks, leadership and delivering an event. The feminine is the sharing and the vulnerability and the opening and the just being with, and the flow and the connecting.
So both must be present but not necessarily in equal measure and not at the same points in time. At a point in time there is a choice of one or the other in the isness of what is appropriate right now.
There is always an opportunity to develop these two polarities and that for me is the journey to becoming a man