Mike & the Shift

 

 

The Shift's origin story begins with me laying in my own stink.

It was post surgery, I had my chest muscles ripped off my arm following a motorcycle "mishap" and my arm had to remain across my chest until such time as the screws had done what they needed to do. 

I was unshaven and unwashed and I could literally smell my own putrid stench.

Laying next to me on the floor was my 6 month old daughter and 4th child, Stevie.

My wife had to return to work as I was not able to.

I also was unable to pick up my daughter, clean her or change her.

I was in a deep hole smashed physically, emotionally and financially.

One morning, laying in that simmering helplessness my wife invited me to break.

And I did.

I wailed and I sobbed and I seethed.

It was also not lost on me that my arm across my body was some sort of macabre self embrace.

And then I began to rebuild.

Slowly, one practise at a time.

I leaned into meditation, journaling, gratitude, tai-chi, walking, reflection, mens circle, rehab, and counselling.

I wrote all my practises down. They determined how my day would look.

One day I shared this structure with Jane Mcnaught, the trauma counselor that I was seeing.

When she looked at my diary she said to me "Michael, that is not a diary or a schedule that is a life rhythm"

Her comment hit me right between the eyes and in many ways that became the catalyst for the Shift,  the Practise and the Pillars. 

I had been around the wellbeing and self development industry for most of my adult life and had always worked in it. 

So the movement towards the Shift was only a minor segway.

I had for example sat in the same mens circle since 2003 and had, with the assistance of Brett Churnin, a lifelong friend and partner in so much of my journeying, created a framework for men to hold Men's Circle.

We launched mengroup.info in 2007 as our contribution to the profound gathering that is Mens Circle.

We provided a field guide and an offer to support men to set up their own circles.

Since then our structure has been used by men all over the world from all walks of life and our approach has been well and truly tested.

In tandem with that we also set up the Mens Group Facebook Group. Today that group has over eleven thousand members and to my knowledge is the only facilitated online mens conversation of its kind.

I was also deeply interested in the world of self development from my very late teens. That journey had taken me to living in an Ashram with the Yi Tao School in Ashfield in 1990 to spending almost 8 years living as an ultra-orthdox Jew in both Israel and Australia. It included numerous 10 day silent Vipassana retreats, and many many healers and courses.

Some of my most noted teachers would include Trevor Grey, Karima Hinterlaner, Matt Bourke, Limor Babai and Wendy Proctor to name a few. 

I was also deeply influenced and impacted by my own personal journey in life and relationship. I have had to navigate the world of being divorced more than once and having 4 children from three different women. That has come with its own set of challenges and opportunities. 

I have also learned to deeply honour what it means to be committed and to share my life with one woman with whom the door is closed. I have been with Caroline for 15 years. We have two daughters together Mackenzie (age 10) and Stevie (age 5) and I have learned to love this woman for who she is and who she is not.

I have learned to navigate the hard conversations and the epic stuff. I have learned to grieve with her and laugh out loud and understand what it means to have a life partner. 

One of the moments where Caroline most supported me (and my family) on that journey was with the passing of my Brother.

My younger brother and only sibling Gary passed away on the 24th of November 2013. His passing was sudden and traumatic and our daughter Mackenzie was born a week after we buried him. 

My Brother was physically imposing and sensitive. He was covered in tattoo’s and had 5 staffies. That summed up who he was physically.

He was also often, isolated. He struggled with drugs and alcohol and connecting with people. As a plumber he was often alone in trenches and sewers. And he was sensitive, highly sensitive and he struggled with feeling safe. 

When he passed something broke inside me as it did for my parents (and it has never healed) and it was Caroline with her 8 month pregnant belly that held the space for us and managed the funeral arrangements and did all the things that needed to be done.

And after we buried him she said "and now I am going to have my baby"

And I had to learn to manage profound grief on the one hand with the celebration of having my first daughter and third child.

Part of healing from my Brothers passing was making a commitment, in his memory to bring this work to men. And I have lived up to that commitment.

it would be remiss of me in that same context not to mention community and its loss and creation as one of my other key influences.

I left South Africa when I was 17 and with that everything I knew about place and people. I did not just lose the physical space called home I lost everything that home represents.

That loss of community was exacerbated when I walked away from my Jewish roots and community and so began a lifelong interest in what it means to create and sustain communities.

I have done that in three ways. The first was in the creation and launch of evolution to wellbeing in Jan 2000.

We started at Bronte Beach in Sydney, with 6 people and over the next twenty years expanded to 26 locations with 48 trainers and over thirty thousand people going through the program.

We taught our evolutionaries (lead trainers) that they were leaders of community and we created a myriad of ways for them to do it. This grew into a system of sorts and we proved it over and over again as we expanded into new areas.

I did the same thing in Men's Circle's and in my own communities where I lived at various times, in Bondi, Coogee, Darling Point and Avalon. While accolades are not my thing I did appreciate winning local business of the Year in the Northern Beaches Council 2023 in the health and wellbeing category. 

In Dec 2023 we relocated as a family to Noosa.

I promised my wife that in this new area I would do things a little differently. That I would focus more on building my own personal connected community and focus less on doing that for others.

Part of that decision led me to embracing the online environment as my primary resource for creating and delivering programs and nurturing community.

In many ways that has meant starting from scratch but that has also been one of the benefits of Covid in that I got to experience for myself the power of the online world.

So now I work with Men who are up for self care, integrity, alignment and designing lives for themselves that are both meaningful and a contribution to others.

I get to see the power of men with sustained practises who prioritise appropriately and seek appropriate ways to replenish

I see mens circles growing from strength strength to strength

And I get to live in this beautiful part of the world, nurturing myself and my family and being the change that I wish to see in the world

 Aho (a mens circle term for I am complete) 

Mike

If you would like to know more about me please reach out.

You can email me at: michael@the-shift.com.au

or text or call me on +61438 13 15 17 

You can also hear more from me in the blog section of this website. I love to write and feel like it is in the written word that I am best able to express myself. 

For older blogs you can also visit the sit website.