A great idea in less than 18 minutes is one of the tenets of TED and might be the perfect framework by which to explain the origin story of the Sit, Shift and Pillars
What I propose is almost as old humankind so its definitely not new but its repackaging and repurposing might be.
Men connecting with themselves and other Men.
A practise as old as life itself but one that was somehow lost since we stopped sitting around a fire together.
A distracted father forgot to teach his unworldly son and the whole thing was lost in most parts of the western world.
How do we bring it back? It seems there is something afoot. There is a men's movement that is emerging from the shadows. There are men who acknowledge their vulnerability and acknowledge their pressures and stress and that they are not coping.
There are men, like me, committed to doing it differently from the way that it was done by our own Fathers but unsure exactly what “it” is.
Is the “it” the "Are you okay" movement? the self development you can do anything movement? The man up movement? The be in nature movement? The spend more time with your kids and family movement? The experiences movement?
What I wonder with those movements is do they facilitate a community that provides a space for a mans vulnerability to be explored. A space for him to be seen, heard and witnessed where he is safe and in the presence of men who he is nurturing a long term connection with.
We have of course created professional communities, military communities, fitness and adventure communities, golf communities, party communities, poker and sport communities but not communities that teach us , and support us to be both vulnerable and resistant, to be both authentic and held to account.
I have pondered this for years and years partly because I have been drawn toward building communities in my personal, professional and philanthropic life.
I have also had the painful opportunity to be ripped from my core communities - becoming an immigrant, leaving a traditional religious practice behind me and being blown out of nuclear family and into a blended family environment.
As those community experiences have expanded so as my deep interest in them and perhaps it is even my calling.
The Practises within the Shift and the Pillars are designed to connect men with themselves and other men. They are both doing and being practises.
The practices take time. Between them, outside of any contemplative time they take around 13 hours per week. That seems like alot especially in this time poor world that we live in.
But what if “life” wanted you to do these practices?
That is one of the things that I have pondered in the creation of the life by design practise.
I have also asked myself who we need to be as men in order to embark on this journey for both OURSELVES and for OTHER MEN.
The power in this is twofold. The first is in supporting a man to cultivate his resilience, purpose and connection to himself.
The second is facilitating the creation of a community of men and thereby offering him an opportunity to connect with others.
To do that we must have:
A clear sense of what the practices entail
An environment of support and accountability
A way to turn it into a game because we all love a game.
And we would need trust, trust in the practise, trust in the process, trust in the other men and trust in the game.
And that would start with willingness and an open mind to play the game.
How did the game come about?
A dark night of the soul, a series of professional setbacks, a physical injury that left me incapacated and legacy emotional trauma from the passing of my younger brother and only sibling led to that perfect little storm.
On the other side of it I felt that, not had I not been trampled and spat out by the universe. I had been cradled and held by it.
And from that experience the practises began to take shape and crystalise because it was those practices that gave me the experience of being connected, in service, at peace, present, and available.
And so for the first time ever I was not afraid of losing the feeling of being at peace, present and in flow because I knew that if I lost it that the practices would bring me back.
And thus I became my own project, and my own Avatar
Formulating and then embodying the practices resulted in alot of false starts, new ideas, evolutions and trial and error over an 18 month period.
From there, and what also took time was coming to a place where I was able to boldly, clearly and vulnerably articulate my belief that creating these communities of men was how i could best serve what I was here to do.
And that is the journey, to build empowered, supportive communities of men who support each other to maintain their practises, cultivate capacity, navigate the ebb and flow and have the power and the calm to serve themselves and others.